I don’t think anyone ever remembers the EXACT moment when their relationship with God starts to decrease, or when their prayer life lessens, or when their devotional time begins to be done less out of a relationship with God and more out of obligation. I didn’t. In my case, there was a catalyst (in the form of a poem) that gripped me and made me realize by the end that God and I were no longer close.
“Have you ever been kissed by God?
Had the ability to bask in his embrace
the Honor to hold his hand and privilege to walk along his side?”
Jada, Cofield. “Have you ever been Kissed by God?” (2022)
The poem was read during the worship part of my young adult bible study. After hearing it, I remember sharing – choked up with emotion – how it testifies that when one truly experiences the love and intimacy of God, nothing else in life compares.
I believed in the words that I shared. But on the inside, my spirit felt grief. It felt like I was being held up to a mirror(James 1:23-25). One that kept confirming on the inside what I knew to be true. You’re not close. You’re not close.
“I always wondered where I’d be if God ever stopped loving me
If he no longer had enough grace sufficient to carry the weight of my flesh
if the carnal deeds done by this body would have been too great for him to claim me”
Later that night, I remember crying, confessing to my mom, “I haven’t felt the intimacy of God in a long time and I don’t know how to get it back.” It had been months since I’ve felt the presence of the Holy Spirit or even heard his voice. I feared I would never feel it again. Tears were streaming down my face, my thoughts centering on my worst fear coming true. But I’ll never forget my mom turning to me and softly saying, “Trinity…all I hear is that you just have to simply make the CHOICE to turn back to Him and repent.”
I remember pausing. Her words brought relief but also doubt. It felt so simple. That’s it? Months of feeling separated cleared up by a simple choice of confessing and returning back?
1 John 3:1
“See what kind of love the father has given to us in that we should be called his children, and that is what we are! Because the world didn’t recognize him, the world doesn’t recognize us!”
You might be feeling the same way right now, wondering how you let the distance between you and God get so big and are now questioning if you can ever get your fire back.
I want to share some hope. You absolutely can. I write this post 5 months later, having experienced the love and intimacy of God like I never have before.
How did I get to this place?
Well first to answer my own previous question (and also the question you may be asking right now) – is it that simple? Just confess the sins and everything will be restored? I would say yes and no.
What do you mean, Trinity?
I mean yes in the fact that the word of God is the 100% truth and that when we confess our sins and turn back to God, he does wipe the slate clean and no longer remembers are sins (Psalm 103:12), BUT to say I felt 100% intimacy right then and there? No. Confession was just the first step.
There were some additional things I also had to do afterwards to restore His intimacy.
Steps I would now like to share with you. So that whenever you feel the fire of God start to wane & your relationship has grown stale, I want you to turn to these things to help guide you back on the right path.
Step 1)Confess Your Sins
I know I know, while I did just admit that there’s more to restoring your intimacy with God than confessing your sins, confession is still the first step you must take.
We serve a Holy God who cannot associate with sin. (1 Peter 1:15-16) However, because Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins on the cross, when we sin we don’t have to remain separate from God, we can confess and ask for forgiveness so our relationship may be restored. (1 John 1:9)
In the Bible, sin in the Greek is ‘hamartia’ which means to miss the mark. Therefore, when we sin we’re missing the mark of how God wants us to be. Our sin offends God (Colossians 3:3-5, Romans 8:8) and when we don’t confess, it’s like a wall separating us from our Heavenly Father.(Ps 32:3-5)
King David said in Ps 32:3-5 “When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long. Day and night you punished me, LORD; my strength was completely drained, as moisture is dried up by the summer heat.”
The word says we can come boldly before the throne of grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16)
So when we confess our sins, it’s not to feel bad but so we can become honest before God. We confess to regain strength and power to walk into who God has ultimately called us to be.
Step 2)Repent
The formal definition of repentance is ‘Metanoia’. It means to turn away from one thing (your sin/original way of thinking) and turn back to God.
Have you ever felt sorry about doing something , maybe even apologized but then when the opportunity represented itself, you did it again? It may be because while you felt bad about the action, your thoughts about it didn’t change.
Romans 12:1-2 says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed through the renewing of your mind (paraphrase). I love how the CJB translation ends this verse by saying, ‘Instead, keep letting ourselves be transformed by the renewing of your minds; so that you will know what God wants and will agree that what he wants is good, satisfying and able to succeed.’
When we turn to the scriptures about our sins, we become equipped with the truth and perspective on how God wants us to live. That’s why after you confess, I want you to consider why you fell off. Once you do that you can turn to the word to renew your mind with what God says about it.
Honesty moment – You may not be aware of the reason right off the bat!
Thankfully, the bible says that we can ask God to,“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalms 139:23-24 CSB)
We do not serve a dumb God. He will reveal if we truly expect a response (James 1:6-8). So don’t be afraid to ask the Lord for the root of why you turned away, and when you ask, expect not only an answer but to make adjustments and give up what caused you to originally stray.
Step 3)Quiet the Noise (a.k.a. – Fast)
We often sleep on fasting. We may do it corporately at the start of every new year with our church (I do) or occasionally during Lent (if we’re feeling up to it lol) but how often do we do it as a continual practice?
For those of you who don’t know what fasting is, it’s “formally giving up food (or something else) for a period of time in order to focus your thoughts on God.” (Source)
While biblically you see people fasting from meat (Daniel 10:3) or no food in general (Matthew 4:1-11;Esther 6:16), you don’t have to just fast from food, but any place, thing, or person you may feel separating you from God. (Heb 12:1)
“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:16-18
There’s a reward in fasting. It’s a place where we can get intimate and be refreshed by our Heavenly Father. Notice how the scripture says ‘When you fast’ meaning fasting was to be a regular part of our lives. It’s an expectation.
It’s fasting that breaks the bondages off our lives and refocuses our attention on the proper source – The Lord Jesus Christ. (Isaiah 58:6-11)
Could it be that the freedom and restoration we so desperately seek in our lives but that continues to forever escape us is because we refuse to submit to the ways in which God says we are to receive it?
The reality is.. This world is loud. It gets noisy. The noise can come externally from friendships, family, and relationships. From comparison on social media and how others are living to pressures at our job to endless school assignments. Or even pull from ministry and responsibilities of our day to day service of the Lord.
It’s no wonder the Bible spoke about fasting as an expectation. It’s because Jesus knew that we would need many times in our lives that we would need to be pulled back from the constant pressures of this life to be filled up renewed in our spirit by the word of God and communion with God.
It even says in the bible that “ Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:15-16) NIV
If Jesus had to do it (God in the human form himself), how much more do we?
To get started with fasting, ask yourself these 4 things:
- How long do you want to fast for?
- Why are you choosing to fast?
- What do you want to fast from?
- What book of the bible/bible study/devotionals will you read while you fast?
It’s not enough to just turn away from certain habits or foods, you must also replace what you’re fasting from with the Word of God.
After you answer these questions, write down your answers somewhere and commit. Tell a friend to keep you accountable. She or He might even join you (Ecc 4:10). Afterwards, trust and believe that you will be rewarded!
Note: As you seek God, He will speak to you. He may tell you things to let go of, things to focus on, or where to shift your priorities. As he guides you and leads you, be obedient.
Step 4)Believe in His Promises
As you begin to re-seek God – through confessing, repenting, & fasting -it can be easy to want to expect quick results but don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel anything at first. It may not be immediate, but that’s okay.
Our walk with God is based on faith not by what we can see or feel. God is Faithful (Hebrews 10:23) and He is not a man that He shall lie. (Numbers 23:19)
Therefore, as you begin God to seek to renew your promises with God, hold on to these promises:
- “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:7-10
- “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
- “I love those who love me, And those who seek me diligently will find me.” Proverbs 8:7
- And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:6
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17), so as you’re seeking the Lord, whenever doubts start to come in that you’ll never feel His presence again or your fire will never return, declare these promises over your life!
Step 5)Prioritize Intimacy with God (A.K.A – Keep the Main Thing The Main Thing )
There’s no doubt that you will come out of your fast feeling refreshed and renewed (and if you don’t, stick with it until you do!)
However, once it ends ( or even before you start,) you MUST be intentional in setting specific times in your life (each day) when you can connect with God.
Just as in the natural, a relationship cannot be sustained without communication and spending time together, so can’t our relationship with God.
I recently completed a bible plan that spoke to the fact that everyone has daily habits (such as eating, showering, feeding their pets) that they do everyday because they believe are necessary for daily functioning. So what about our spiritual life ?
We won’t be intentional with our time unless we believe that our time with God is absolutely necessary for our daily functioning.
Think about how you are when you are in the word vs when you’re not. How are you prone to think, feel, or act?
Without the word, I am prone to be anxious, negative, and stressed. It’s God’s word that reminds me to give Him my worries (1 Peter 5:7), seek rest in Him (Matt 11:29), and think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable (Phil 4:8). It’s in the Word that I can find wisdom and gain the power, strength, and guidance I need to live each day. (proverbs)
So I want you to consider your own reasoning for staying connected to God. After you reflect, write it down, note it somewhere where you will remember to encourage yourself in the moments when you don’t want to meet, why it’s ALWAYS worth it
John 15:4 says (without me you can do nothing) – The more we believe this , the more intentional we will be in guarding our time with God.
To do this practically:
Assess: When do I have down time? When do I spend time on my phone or social media? Can you get up an extra 30 before going to work/starting school ? Or cut off the TV/phone 30 min earlier before bed?
These are all moments when you can replace your time with the word and prayer. You have time, you just have to see where it’s going.
If you’re in a busy season (I feel like at some point in life we always are) as you’re looking over your schedule each day, look for margin time (that is the small 5-15 min breaks we have throughout the day) where we’re sitting down, at lunch, in between classes, before work etc. Don’t downplay the 15 to 20 min.
We don’t have to beat ourselves up if we don’t have a full blown hour in the morning to press into our words, your time with God can be spread out throughout the day. It doesn’t have to look the same each time.
Keep in Mind – You can be flexible with this! Our devotional time with God doesn’t have to be the typical sitting down and writing out prayers/notes. You can talk to God while in the shower, you can pray in the Holy Spirit while doing the dishes, you can listen to a devotional podcast or bible app on your while you’re getting dressed or driving in your car! This is a relationship! Make it fun! Don’t be afraid to mix it up!
A RESOURCE TO TRY
While I don’t do it EACH time I meet with God, at least once in my day I DO like to prayer journal and write out my thoughts to God. I find it helps me to connect with how my soul is really doing and to hear clearer from Him. The first resource I used that helped me start this was this prayer journal. I first bought it in 2020 to bring some mental stability in my life (fun times lol).It made the process way less overwhelming. I still use a majority of its prompts in my own prayer journaling today. See if it works for you! Add it to your nightly routine before bed!
Overall, our walk with God is a journey, sometimes we may stumble along the way or get thrown off by personal distractions but thank the Lord that He “isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” (2 Peter 3:9-10)
Everyday, the Lord is drawing us to Himself, asking us to commune with Him (John 14:21) (John 6:44). We just have to choose to answer the call. And if we stumble, we don’t need to beat ourselves up, God is for us. He’s willing for us to come towards more than we will for ourselves. We just must CHOOSE (and continue to make the CHOICE) to press into Him.
I want to hear from you !
Have you ever experienced a season where you’ve felt disconnected from God? What lessons did you learn? How did you restore your intimacy? How’s your walk with God right now? What are you doing right now to keep your intimacy with God protected?
Cheering you on,
Trinity
